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"I will go on again."

When I began

To run the race for Immortality,

I thought that I should run so easily

After that day,

When I put on the Name of Christ my Lord;

And having found a goodly company,

And narrow path withal;

It seemed that I might almost find my way

Straight to the mark, without one trip or fall

Oh! fool and vain,

To think that I could fight and not know pain,

Or climb and never stumble;

Now 'tis plain, —

. I must have grown less earnest, or more humble;

I think sometimes I cannot climb at all,

For now I see,

Far heights of holiness that seem to be

All inaccessible, at least to me.

Wretched am I.

Depths of endeavour and sincerity,

I had not dreamed of in my vanity;

And still I try

To rid myself of mine iniquity;

And still iniquity takes hold on me,

Till my heart fails, and I fall down and cry—

I cannot serve the Lord. It is too high,

I cannot reach it. I had better die

At once, than spend my breath

In a vain strife that but continueth

To heap up sorrow for my second death.

 

That was an evil thought, evil and vain.

"In death we are the Lord's". No, it is plain,

I must go on again.

Except the Lord had called me by His grace

To run this race

I yet had walked in some vain thoroughfare,

Leading nowhere

But to the gates of death. Except that He

Had taught my hands to war, I yet should be

Fighting in vain, as one that beats the air.

Now, I remember God has said to me,

"Pay unto Me thy vow,

And in thy day of trouble call on Me,

I will deliver thee, and then shalt thou

Glorify Me". My heart seems lighter now;

I will go on again, and bear in mind,

If I have nought to fight with, Christ will find

Nothing to crown me for. Each evil thing

I set my foot on now shall serve to bring

Me one step nearer to my heart's desire,

Till, being tried, as gold is tried in fire,

I shall come forth at length,

In purity and strength.

Then at the judgment scene on Sinai,

Trembling, rejoicing, scarce believing, I,

With all who overcame,

All my sin conquered, all my sorrow healed,

Shall share the glory yet to be revealed,

Eat of the manna that has been concealed

And bear my Lord's New Name.

—MY. C.

The Christadelphian, March 1st, 1884, p. 106,

 

 
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